My First Turkey...

...was salty, but hey. You live, you learn. I found myself thanking the dead bird for bringing my family together. I think it was all the trytophan and dehydration.

An odd thing I want to note: my aunt and uncle were joking around about marijuana in the stuffing. The mischievous part of me was hoping that they wanted to get high, perhaps relieve some tension. My family thrives on tension, though. Someday, I'm going to slip in some special butter into a desert. They'll never know the difference.

My grandmother is more frail than ever. Skinny, small, weary. She's waiting to die, but she ain't goin' out with a bang, let me tell you. When I'm in my final years, I'm going to do the craziest things. Wear the most outrageous clothes in public. Say anything and everything on my mind. I'd have earn it for surviving.

"Lola," I told her. Lola is Filipino for grandmother. "You should be happy you lived this long."

...

I chose not to participate on Black Friday, not to rebel against the capitalistic machine that drives our country into an unreasonable shopping frenzy, not because I'm desperately broke (I actually have an income this season...what a miracle), but because I wasn't in the mood to deal with crowds. There's a little thing called 'mob mentality' that I'm not a fan of. When grouped together in large numbers, we humans behave differently, think collectively, but usually it's destructive, ie soccer fans riots. I'm still cherishing some new found freedoms that I don't want to squander away at William Sonoma, thank you.

Also, I watched a little of The View on Thanksgiving Day, and fucking Sherri and Khloe Kardashian were hocking stupid products to middle-class, middle-aged housewives, talking about cooking dinner for their man, setting back the feminist movement about thirty years. That did not make me want to participate. I didn't know women were so eager to feed men.

And now...bring on the Christmas carols.

Spearheading Turkey Day

Wish me luck readers. I'm taking charge tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day, and preparing dinner for my lackluster Filipino Family. The meal will be your basic turkey with rice instead of mashed potates, pumpkin and custard pie (store-bought), and gyoza/potstickers for starters. I might save the gyoza for Friday, when I attend an actual dinner with friends that care about the ceremony of feasting. Does anyone out there have similar families with a disinterest towards the holidays.

I'm not too brokenhearted; the disappointment was to be expected like a Sedaris memoir waiting to happen. That's kind of how my mom's side of the family works. Content. Modest. Anticlimactic. When I do manage to round up the gang for a celebration, as I did at my 23rd birthday, the result does become rompous.

Grandma, elated with joy in her fragile state, starts behaving like a 2 year old. Old uncle, about the same age as my grandmother but married to her daughter, my aunt, turns into a rascal. My aunt is grateful and my younger uncle remains critical. Oh, and there's the partially estranged uncle that might show up. Note to self: invite estranged uncle to increase family relations, if not tensions. I'm going to have a Thanksgiving, goddamnit, even if it means I have to strap them down and force feed them with chopsticks.

I better get on Santa's good list for this.

I Have The Power

With the help of Facebook's security team, I managed to eradicate the profile of an abusive internet user, Iokepa De. There is justice after all. I am not using this platform to brag about such minor an accomplishment (anyone can destroy an enemy's social network, right?) but I am encouraging all victims of online harassment to stand-up against their bullies and defend their rights to safe and responsible Internet usage.

Allow me to enjoy my victory, for they are few and far between. My hands are behind my head. My feet are on the table. My face is smiling smugly at my triumph. Somewhere in Argentina (yes, my tormentor is somewhere in Argentina), a vindictive and idiotic boy is wondering what happened to his Facebook account. This must be how Lara Croft felt in the Tomb Raider movie.

The Information Age has surely spawned a culture of angry and rude people. Have we become a generation of loudmouths yapping at everything and everyone. This is going into my philosophy of Subjectivism: the desire people have to become the subject of the world by speaking before thinking, by forgetting about the implications of their words, by abandoning empathy. My friends, kind readers, let's strive to improve this world we live on...even if that means punishing those that need to be stopped.

Sue Sylvester Rocks!

Last week, America Fererra, aka Ugly Betty, ended the episode grooving solo to "Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol.
This week, Kevin McHale, who plays Arty the Cripple on Glee, starts off the show doing wheelies to the same tune. Personally, I'd rather dance with someone else. Horizontally...gig-giddy gig-giddy. But I digress. This episode is definitely better than the last.

Here's few more things you missed:

1. Kurt's dad is from the Time-Warner commercials
2. Tina, the Asian girl, doesn't really have a stutter and nobody really cares
3. Black guy is missing from Glee, bringing down the minority rate 13.7%
4. Asian guy is still the ONLY background character with no speaking lines
5. Puck put weed in cupcakes as a side note
6. Mr. Schueler was able to round up enough wheelchairs for every Glee Club member but had to have a bake sale to raise funds for Arty the Cripple
7. Sue Sylvester has a sister with Down Syndrome and is teaching another retard to jumprope

Hurray Fox! You just lost an Emmy. But still, Glee remains entertaining, and though the jokes are running dry, the music and actors are pulling the show through.

What About Betty?

I was thoroughly disappointed with two of my favorite shows recently. The first of them is the semi-sarcastic High School Musical parody 'Glee,' the other is the hyper-inflated dramedy 'Ugly Betty.'

Glee needs to stop pimping out Mr. Schueler like a Justin Timberlake wannabe pop star with badly recorded 80's lipsynching and get back to the kids. Lea Michele's skirts keep getting higher and musical numbers are starting to scream for attention.

Ugly Betty just has too much going on, I doubt it could attract and maintain new viewers. The show is turning into the final stages of Jinga, where it's only a matter of time until the tower of blocks crumbles down upon itself against the weight of plot twists and character exaggerations. Michael Urie's eyes were in constant peeled back form; apparently, not blinking is his thing. Every new character has got some scheme going on: Daniel's new assistant, Wilhelmina's daughter, Judith Light. And poor Betty and her Latino familia is left on the sidelines.

I normally don't watch too much tv, but I've conformed a little. So sue me.