Spearheading Turkey Day

Wish me luck readers. I'm taking charge tomorrow, Thanksgiving Day, and preparing dinner for my lackluster Filipino Family. The meal will be your basic turkey with rice instead of mashed potates, pumpkin and custard pie (store-bought), and gyoza/potstickers for starters. I might save the gyoza for Friday, when I attend an actual dinner with friends that care about the ceremony of feasting. Does anyone out there have similar families with a disinterest towards the holidays.

I'm not too brokenhearted; the disappointment was to be expected like a Sedaris memoir waiting to happen. That's kind of how my mom's side of the family works. Content. Modest. Anticlimactic. When I do manage to round up the gang for a celebration, as I did at my 23rd birthday, the result does become rompous.

Grandma, elated with joy in her fragile state, starts behaving like a 2 year old. Old uncle, about the same age as my grandmother but married to her daughter, my aunt, turns into a rascal. My aunt is grateful and my younger uncle remains critical. Oh, and there's the partially estranged uncle that might show up. Note to self: invite estranged uncle to increase family relations, if not tensions. I'm going to have a Thanksgiving, goddamnit, even if it means I have to strap them down and force feed them with chopsticks.

I better get on Santa's good list for this.

I Have The Power

With the help of Facebook's security team, I managed to eradicate the profile of an abusive internet user, Iokepa De. There is justice after all. I am not using this platform to brag about such minor an accomplishment (anyone can destroy an enemy's social network, right?) but I am encouraging all victims of online harassment to stand-up against their bullies and defend their rights to safe and responsible Internet usage.

Allow me to enjoy my victory, for they are few and far between. My hands are behind my head. My feet are on the table. My face is smiling smugly at my triumph. Somewhere in Argentina (yes, my tormentor is somewhere in Argentina), a vindictive and idiotic boy is wondering what happened to his Facebook account. This must be how Lara Croft felt in the Tomb Raider movie.

The Information Age has surely spawned a culture of angry and rude people. Have we become a generation of loudmouths yapping at everything and everyone. This is going into my philosophy of Subjectivism: the desire people have to become the subject of the world by speaking before thinking, by forgetting about the implications of their words, by abandoning empathy. My friends, kind readers, let's strive to improve this world we live on...even if that means punishing those that need to be stopped.

Sue Sylvester Rocks!

Last week, America Fererra, aka Ugly Betty, ended the episode grooving solo to "Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol.
This week, Kevin McHale, who plays Arty the Cripple on Glee, starts off the show doing wheelies to the same tune. Personally, I'd rather dance with someone else. Horizontally...gig-giddy gig-giddy. But I digress. This episode is definitely better than the last.

Here's few more things you missed:

1. Kurt's dad is from the Time-Warner commercials
2. Tina, the Asian girl, doesn't really have a stutter and nobody really cares
3. Black guy is missing from Glee, bringing down the minority rate 13.7%
4. Asian guy is still the ONLY background character with no speaking lines
5. Puck put weed in cupcakes as a side note
6. Mr. Schueler was able to round up enough wheelchairs for every Glee Club member but had to have a bake sale to raise funds for Arty the Cripple
7. Sue Sylvester has a sister with Down Syndrome and is teaching another retard to jumprope

Hurray Fox! You just lost an Emmy. But still, Glee remains entertaining, and though the jokes are running dry, the music and actors are pulling the show through.

What About Betty?

I was thoroughly disappointed with two of my favorite shows recently. The first of them is the semi-sarcastic High School Musical parody 'Glee,' the other is the hyper-inflated dramedy 'Ugly Betty.'

Glee needs to stop pimping out Mr. Schueler like a Justin Timberlake wannabe pop star with badly recorded 80's lipsynching and get back to the kids. Lea Michele's skirts keep getting higher and musical numbers are starting to scream for attention.

Ugly Betty just has too much going on, I doubt it could attract and maintain new viewers. The show is turning into the final stages of Jinga, where it's only a matter of time until the tower of blocks crumbles down upon itself against the weight of plot twists and character exaggerations. Michael Urie's eyes were in constant peeled back form; apparently, not blinking is his thing. Every new character has got some scheme going on: Daniel's new assistant, Wilhelmina's daughter, Judith Light. And poor Betty and her Latino familia is left on the sidelines.

I normally don't watch too much tv, but I've conformed a little. So sue me.

The Clerk's Agenda

Note to self:

1.Grease monkeys
2.Rub elbows
3.Increase job performance
4.Research libertarianism (Ron Paul, perhaps)
5.Socialize
6.Prioritize
7.Declutter
8.Help deserving coworkers

Lollapalooza 2009: The World's Best Dancer!

Serious talent? Serious something...

Chapter 4: The Coldest Shoulder

“Where the hell is she? We’ve been waiting for like, half an hour.”
“Relax, dude. She’ll be here in a second.”
“Hey, Rip. Check it out.”
“What? Oh, that guy? Wasn’t he at Coffee Planet yesterday?”
“Oh yeah.”
“You like him? He’s kind of old.”
“He’s not that old. He’s got to be like, what? Twenty-nine? Thirty?”
“At least.”
“Whatever. I’m gonna’ go talk to this guy while you wait for your mistress.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“See ya’.”
Lee walked off towards the man ordering coffee at a kiosk on the ground floor of W&C, Inc. headquarters, leaving Ripley alone, sitting at the foot of the cubic fountain. Ripley watched his friend strike up a conversation with ease. Both Lee and the man were flirtatiously smiling, Lee constantly put a hand to his hair as if swiping invisible strands from his forehead. After a few minutes, the older man whipped out a cell phone from his pockets and took down what Ripley could only assume was Lee’s number. Lee did not reciprocate; he only rubbed the man’s shoulder graciously as he walked away and sat back down next to Ripley. The man walked towards the elevator with his coffee, turning his head around halfway through the lobby to smile at Lee. Lee flickered his fingers at the man who disappeared around the corner.
“His name’s Eddy, he works in accounting and he’s seen Bridget around before. He’s from Atlanta, Georgia, single and likes to hike.”
“Damn, Lee.”
“What can I say? I know what men want.”
“You didn’t get his number?”
“Oh, Ripley. He can call me. And trust me, he will.”
“Slut.”
“Virgin.”
“I’m not a virgin, dude.”
“Oral sex doesn’t count.”
Ripley stayed silent, not wanting to be tricked into revealing more about his sex life to Lee, who, Ripley suspected, enjoyed the details. As much as he liked Lee, Ripley would not give him his kicks and refused to divulge more than what he was comfortable with. Ripley decided to turn to tables on his meddling friend and pry into Lee’s sex life for once. Lee, however, did not seem to care, almost reveled in his sexuality’s attention.
“I thought you only loved one guy?”
“I did. But I’ve slept with others.”
“Older dudes?”
“Sometimes. Mostly just straight guys.”
“Right…”
“Honestly, you’d be surprised how many guys out there are bi-curious or experimental or closeted. Especially in college.”
Ripley was glad he spotted Bridget at this moment. He was starting to regret questioning Lee about his sexual history. Bridget emerged from the glassy halls with a cocky swagger, her hips shuffling from side to side. She smiled at Ripley, pulling back her dark hair behind her left ear.
Bridge reached the boys sitting on the fountain, placed a hand on her prominent hip. Ripley looked up at her and noticed how the sunlight illuminated the waves in her inky hair.
“Gentlemen,” she said. “I believe I just got a promotion.”